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“Why do you live in Milan? People are unpleasant there. It is better here, where you can ride your motorcycle without a helmet and drive without a seat belt,” said my first taxi driver in Naples. Who when I paid the 19 Euro fare with a 20 Euro bill, objected to the tip because “that is the price of a coffee.” (I told him to keep the 1 Euro anyway).

This is the chaos of Naples – you can do whatever you want and drive however you like, but then of course you’re driving in a city where everyone else does the same, and you can imagine the crazy traffic that ensues! But it is the excitement of living on the edge at all times that gives Naples its primal energy and bustle, and its very particular charm.

Many visitors to Italy come to Naples, but often spend less than a day hours there, instead using it as a jumping off point to visit the ruins of Pompeii or to head to the island of Capri or nearby Amalfi coast. This is precisely how Naples landed in Lonely Planet’s Secret Europe Destinations 2016 with an article titled “Italy at its red-blooded bargain best,” as a worthy destination where you can appreciate a slice of Italy’s incredible history and art without the crowds you’ll find in some of the more popular Italian cities for tourism. While there has been a surge in interest in Naples as a destination in some crowds after the recent success of Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan series, overall it is more often treated as a transit point than the satisfying and exhilirating city it can be.

Some say the Neapolitan spirit is due to living in the shadow of Mount Vesuvius. Experts maintain that the volcano is overdue for an eruption. So as a Neapolitan, with the threat of destruction ever lurking, why wouldn’t you live every day to the fullest?

This fiercely independent attitude of Naples manifests itself in interesting ways when you are a tourist:

• Waiting for one of the last trains back to the center on a Sunday night, and despite there being other people on the platform also waiting, being quite aware of the possibility that no train arrives at all (in this case, it did come, over an hour late!)

• Trying to pay a 5 Euro museum entry with a 10 Euro bill, and then being let in for free because the attendant couldn’t be bothered to make change.

• Walking past mounds of garbage piled up on the streets that haven’t been collected in a while and are starting to overflow onto the sidewalk (mind you, the trash is near the receptacles, just not collected).

• Even paid museums almost never having toilet paper in the bathrooms. So great excitement ensues at the one museum with a communal roll outside of the stalls that still has toilet paper on it.

• And sometimes you are wandering around museums with priceless pieces of art, and you are completely alone because no one is monitoring the area.

• The only rule I saw consistently was “no selfie shaft.” Otherwise, no rules =)

So when my taxi driver bemoaned that Milanesi wear their seat belts and their helmets, I thought to myself that he may find it appalling, but I actually like Milan that way . . . at least as a place to live. But the stark contrast between the cities means that Naples is one of my favorite cities to visit in all of Italy – you’ve never felt more alive!